Thoughts from the hot seat!

2010-05-10T05:04:00.000-07:00

My First Hollow Beads!

I'm very excited to share my first set of hollow beads with everyone! I made the first one of these about 6 months ago with the intention of making a whole set at the time...but didn't get around to it until now! lol Typical me there!!! ;) I have to say, they were challenging to make, but I love the way the light shines through them and how they are larger than my round beads would normally be, but are still lightweight. They have a very ethereal feel to them in my opinion, and of course, I had to add a touch of earth to all that otherworldlyness, so you'll see that I rolled the base of each bead in reactive brown "raku" frit and then melted it in partially. If you REALLY like them, they are up and running on Ebay right now...so just click the link to the left of the screen to go there!

I've also got a set of highly detailed "window" beads up...Ice Gems...they are cool and wonderful for summer! Check out the pictures of both below!!!

2010-04-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, Bliss...I Love Spring!!!

I've seen 42 springs, you'd think I'd be used to them by now, right? Bored to death with them, sick of the same old thing? Yeah, whatever. Spring is absolutely my favorite time of year! After the long winter with barren trees, snow and ice...I am always ready for things to become green and gentle again, for trees to burst forth in their glorious blossoms and flowers to uncoil from beneath the earth and spread delicate petals to the sun!

In honor of this wonderful time of year, I have listed some more gorgeous glass beads...where I hope I've at least managed to hold captive just a touch of this glorious time of year! Here's a preview, if you want to see them up close and personal, or maybe even make them your own...click this link to visit My Ebay.

2010-04-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

Crazy .99 cent Starting Bids on Ebay!!!

In the past couple of days, I've been listing like crazy on Ebay. Lot's of wonderful new focals, bead sets and soon to come an orphan lot...all starting at only .99. The item with the most bids is only at 4.00 right now...so check it out by clicking my Ebay link to the left and hopefully get yourself a fabulous deal on some beautiful beads! Here's a preview of some of the beauties you'll see there:

2009-12-11T05:11:00.000-08:00

Mystery Auction & Giveaway!!!
How would you like your very own BEAD SLAVE for A DAY???

So far I've had no correct guesses for the big mystery auction I am running...and heck, I haven't had that many even TRYING to guess! Seriously...you don't want a devoted bead slave for a day??? SERIOUSLY??? lol! So here's the deal...today I am posting another hint...an extra...and it's a DOOSEY! This one should definitely help you figure it out! Remember, you do not have to bid, or purchase anything! This is just for fun!

Here's the BIG FAT HINT:
The theme of this auction revolves around a type of family fun. Each set represents a specific form of that type of family fun.

Would you like to review the other hints? Well, then, here they are:

Hint #1: While Molasses might make for a wonderful cookie, you sure wouldn't want to have to wade through it! All that gooey, thick, syrupy mess would be sure to slow down your progress!

Hint #2: Oh, sure, Peacock's are beautiful birds, and their feathers are said to bring luck. But are you absolutely sure you can trust them? I'd keep my eye on that Peacock if I were you!

Hint #3: We all need them, we all enjoy the benefits of having them, but most of us realize that cold, hard cash isn't going to do much more than pay the bills. What you really need are the things money CAN'T buy. BUT...in this case, it really is all about the Benjamins!

Hint #4: If you're messing with the Linguist, you better make sure all your "I's" are dotted and your "T's" are crossed. You won't score any points with him if you use poor grammar or misspelled words!

Hint #5: Ahhh...the Mediterranean, white beaches, stone cliffs, whitewashed villages and incredible blue water. You'd surely profit from owning property in the Mediterranean!

That's all folks...check out my auction (link to Ebay on the left) for today's listing and for the next two days listings and hints...and get your guesses in to me!!! It's worth the effort to get 5 hours of my torch time for FREE!!! My kids will pull a random name after auction end on Sunday and announce my winner on Monday!!!

2009-12-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

Monster Mystery Auction
Come Join the fun & Win a "Bead Slave for a Day"!

To celebrate my return to Ebay, I decided to run one of my mystery auctions! If you're not familiar with my mystery auctions, this is how it works: Each day, I'll add a new picture of a bead set in my Ebay Mystery Auction. The picture will include a hint as to what the "theme" of my mystery auction is. By day 7, I will have revealed all of the beads in the auction (there will be 51 in all) and have provided you with 7 hints. It's a tricky one, so if I see that no one is guessing it correctly by Friday, I will put an additional "helpful hint" here on my blog! If you think you know what the theme is, send me your guess (and your email addy) at any time during the auction...up until the auction closes on day 7. You can guess as many times as you want! All correct guesses will get their name entered into a random drawing and will have a chance to win my biggest prize giveaway EVER!!! What is it, you ask?

ME!!! lol I will be your devoted "Bead Slave for a Day". For 5 hours, I'll sit at my torch and create exclusively for Y-O-U! So it's a prize well worth playing for! Click my Ebay auctions link to the left <--- to visit the mystery auction! And feel free to contact me via the Contact Seller link on Ebay if you do not have my email address! Good luck to you all and have fun!!!

2009-11-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

BLACK FRIDAY/WEEKEND SALE!!!!

Hey everyone! It's been awhile since I've posted anything...but I'm finally back at it and wanted to announce that I will be offering FREE SHIPPING on any of the items in my Etsy store from Black Friday 11/27/09 thru Sunday 11/29/09. It doesn't matter where you live, shipping is FREE!!! It doesn't matter how much you buy, one item or 10, shipping is FREE!!!

I've listed lots of new lampwork, not to mention wonderful lampwork gift items for the holiday season!!! Hope you'll come check it out!!!

Happy Turkey Day, all!!!
Dana :)

2009-06-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

I am so EXCITED!!!

A dear friend of mine recently launched a website that is going to be very innovative and just plain cool. If you love to read or love to write, you should really check it out!!! She is running a contest for the launch, so if you are a writer or even a "writer wannabe" like me...lol...you should give it a shot! Check it all out at:

A Writer's Block

2009-03-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

Doggone Economy!

Unfortunately, my middle sister and her husband have become victims of this crazy economy. Her husband lost his job a little while ago, and had to take another one that paid him less. My sister's job also doesn't pay too well, so they have not been able to afford their car payments due to this change in income. This past week, they lost their vehicle. Now they are struggling not only financially, but to get back and forth to work so they don't end up in worse straights. As a result, I am trying my darnedest to help out by raising some money on their behalf. I am having a huge sale on Ebay...everything on there starts at only .99 with no reserve. I have included or will be listing anything I have around my home that is extraneous, such as unused perfume sets, Bath and Body Works goodies, some clothing, shoes, video games, and etc. I am also including my lampwork and lampwork jewelry pieces, and will be added more new items throughout this week. So it's a great time to get some awesome deals on my lampwork beads, as well as other very nice items if you are so inclined! Please help if you can, and thank you for kind thoughts on their behalf if you can't! Here is the link, or you can click the link in the left page margin as well:
NewMoon On Ebay

Thanks so much...
Dana

2009-02-02T11:16:00.001-08:00

LAST CALL: Girlfriend's Desperation Sale!!!
Sale ends this Sunday 2/22/09!!!

I'm hoping this will be the first and last of this kind of sale, for my friend's sake. My best friend has had a heck of a long streak of just plain bad luck. She's over it and I just feel plain awful for her. She's desperate to get away for a few days, and we are going to try to take a short trip to New Orlean's at the end of this month so she can just relax and have fun.

So...to raise money for said event...I am running a HUGE sale on my lampwork beads, jewelry, and gift items in my Etsy store. Everything has been reduced in price, some things below the actual cost of the item. Some have been marked down as much as 50% or more! Also, I am offering a flat 3.00 shipping cost no matter how many items you buy! So please take advantage of the savings and know that you're helping a fellow girlfriend get some much needed R and R! :)

2008-12-01T04:54:00.000-08:00

Come Celebrate Cyber Monday with Me!

I still have an amazing sale going on in my Etsy shop that will make even the scroogiest of scrooges happy! ;) I am offering FREE shipping to anywhere and everywhere (yep, if you live in Tanzania, Uzbekistan, Iceland, even that uncharted island in the south pacific...I got your free shipping right here!). BUT THAT'S NOT ALL...no, I'm not going to throw in some Ginsu knives for only 19.95...but I AM offering buy three get one free. And when I say, "Buy 3 get 1 Free", I mean whatever your TOP dollar item is, you can pick one of equal or lesser value for FREE! Now, there's a Tropicana Twist for ya! ;)

The best part is, if you're one of my newsletter groupies...you get an extra special Cyber Monday deal on top of what I already have going!!! So, go read your mail, dangit! hahaha And if you're not a newsletter groupie...you might want to sign up...I'll be nice and let you in on the extra fun if you do! ;)

Happy Cyber Monday all! Oh and check out some of my newly listed goodies in the piccies below!
Dana :)

2008-11-20T21:31:00.000-08:00

Check Out My Crazy-Fun Holiday Sale on Etsy!

The holidays are time for me to get hyperactive with excitement and creativity...I just love this time of year! And when I'm excited about it, I just want to share that feeling!!! So, from today (November 20, 2008) until Christmas Day I am offering two crazy specials:

FREE SHIPPING TO ANYWHERE!

and...

BUY 3 GET 1 FREE (and when I say get 1 free, I mean whatever your most expensive purchased item is you get another item of equal or lesser value free! How cool is that?)

So come and check it out...I have tons of great jewelry and gift items as well as loose lampwork beads!!!

www.newmoondesign.etsy.com

2008-10-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

Finally Healed and Gearing up...

Well, my brief hiatus turned into quite the long, drawn out experience! lol One of these days I'm gonna learn not to count my eggs before they are hatched. ;)

Anyway, I am FINALLY fully recovered after multiple surgical procedures...and I'm gearing up for an open house that will include my work and the work of fellow Etsian and INcrowd member, my friend Linda Themer of Textured Turtle. www.texturedturtle.etsy.com. Along with two other local artists, we are are inviting people to come see what our creative minds have been up to! ;) The open house will be at my home (ack! that means I have to clean...hahaha) on November 8th from 1pm until 5pm and anyone who can make it is more than welcome...so stop on by if you live in the area!!! You'll find gorgeous fiber art and mosaic pieces, my flameworked glass beads set into both jewelry and gift accessories, wonderfully fun and funky recycled and upcycled wearable art by Joan Johnson-Bey and delightful contemporary prints and cards by Danielle Reynolds.

We'll be providing tasty holiday treats and some fun giveaways, too! If you'd like to come (it will be lots of fun!!!) and need directions, please don't hesitate to email me at nmdesign08@yahoo.com.

And as for those of you that live a little further away...never fear...anything that isn't swiped by attendees will be paying a visit to my Etsy page in a few weeks! lol

2008-07-31T16:10:00.000-07:00

A Short Break...

Hey there! :) I'm going to be taking a very brief hiatus from my torch for the next 2-3 weeks due to a minor surgical procedure I'll be having on Monday August 4th. I'll be back in action as soon as I can tho...so come back and visit me! ;)

Happy Connections...

Sometimes I have to marvel at the way life works! I was so very lucky to have joined an online group for Indiana based Etsy artists called the INcrowd...because it was this group that connected me to a wonderful artist friend named Linda from Seymour. Linda is a fiber and mosaic artist...she works with wonderful fabrics and makes the most incredible rust-dyed pieces that are just works of art in and of themselves. If you're a person who loves to work with fabrics, please check out her rust-dyed pieces for sale on Etsy at http://www.rustyturtle.etsy.com/ I've seen them firsthand and they are absolutely gorgeous! Check out her fabulous mosaics too...she can get so much incredible detail in such a small space: http://www.texturedturtle.etsy.com/

She and I are currently working on a collaborative fiber art/beaded project and I am having so much fun and just thoroughly enjoying her creative spark and warm personality. I'll post pictures of our project as it takes shape...but for now, I want to share with you the wonderful gifts she just surprised me with the other day. She made me a journal to use while I'm down for the count and recuperating for my surgery...and she also made me a wonderful fiber art flower for one of my many hats...lol (I have an obsession with hats). Aren't they just beautiful???

2008-07-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

Weekend Fun in the Summer Sun!

Well, it was for sure an eventful weekend and a fabulous birthday! :) Friday was full of wonderful emails and e-cards from friends I've made online...which was so nice...thank you all! Friday night I had the opportunity to see Dave Matthews in concert for the first time and that was just awesome. I had a great time (big thanks to my cousin) and really enjoyed the show! But the fun didn't end there...on Saturday my hubby and kids gave me my "real" birthday present...a Nintendo Wii! I was so excited because I really want the Wii fit program. So, it's on order and I can't wait to give it a try!

On Saturday we headed to Ohio to see our newborn niece, Allison, for the first time. She is absolutely beautiful with her head full of dark spiky hair and I have to admit, I was pretty ungenerous and didn't share her much with my hubby! lol Saturday night we went to dinner with Allison and her mommy and daddy...and after that...headed back to their house, set up the Wii and bowled, golfed and laughed alot. It was tons of fun! But guess what? You got it, the fun didn't stop there...lol.

Sunday my close friend Teri and I went to see Mama Mia! which was probably one of the best "chick flicks" I've seen in a very long time. We laughed, cried...the whole thing. It was really wonderful and one of the few movies I've seen lately that I would spend the money to go see again. Afterward we went back to her house and met up with our men and our kids and had a wonderful grilled out supper and swam in the neighbors pool. It was a very special birthday and fantastic to spend the weekend with so many people that are special to me!

Now while I was doing all this celebrating...I didn't forget my promise to let one of my newsletter customers in on the fun too! I pulled a random name from my newsletter subscribers on Friday and Judy B won this beautiful contemporary birthday surprise!

Be sure to look for new listings this week on Etsy...and cross your fingers with me that I'll have enough time to finish up the few things I have left to do on my website so I can finally launch it! If I do, I'll be sure to post the link here!

2008-07-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Me! (and you too!) :)

This friday the 25th will mark my 41st birthday and just for fun I thought we'd celebrate it together, okay? On Friday, I'll pull a random name from my newsletter subscribers to win a birthday surprise! Trust me, I won't be re-gifting you a weird hand-knit sweater that Aunt Gertrude made! lol

Little Orphans looking for a Good Home:

I just listed 101 beadie orphans on Etsy that are very lonesome and would love to come live with an adoring beadmother. Take a peek, they include 13 focals and loads of potential for the creative designer! AND they are a steal at around 2.50 a bead!

Thanks for the Support...

Just wanted to thank everyone who has purchased from either myself or other INcrowd members this month so far. I am donating 20% of every purchase in July to Columbus, Indiana flood relief efforts and have raised a little over 20.00. I'm hoping to finish up the month with a bang and have a bigger, better donation to offer...so please keep checking for new listings over the next week and a half! Thanks again! :)

2008-07-05T12:22:00.000-07:00

Flood Relief Efforts and Contest Winners!

THE BIGGER PICTURE
I am very excited to be a part of something bigger that will provide much needed help to my hometown of Columbus, Indiana! As I had mentioned in my previous post, our area was devastated by the recent flooding in the Midwest. Now sources are estimating that over 1 billion dollars has been lost in farmland and crops in our area. Add to that, the over 125 million dollars in damages our hospital has sustained and the overwhelming loss of homes and possessions by local residents and you begin to grasp the gravity of the situation. This is a time when I am extremely proud to be a member of a group of Indiana based Etsy craftspeople and artisans. Our group, known as the INcrowd, are partnering with Grace Lutheran Church here in Columbus, and generously donating a minimum of 10% of their sales for the month of July to the church's relief efforts. Please, check out the INcrowd's blog (link to the left) for links to all of the participating shops and buy something to help our community! Any support will be GREATLY appreciated!

CONTEST WINNERS!

If you haven't signed up for my newsletter yet, you are seriously missing out on all the fun! AND the free beads! Holy heck, Batman...get busy signing up already! ;) lol All you have to do is click on the link at the bottom of my blog page! Yep, it's THAT easy! lol In the meantime, check out these three gorgeous beauties won by this month's contest participants, proving once again...it pays to PLAY!

This beauty was won by Marilyn in Great Britain! Thanks for playing along, Marilyn!

This feisty number was won by Gloria out on the West Coast! Yay! :)

And finally, this earthy beauty was the treasure awarded to Valerie! Hooray!

Don't miss out on the next big giveaway...I love to run contests and play play play! Join up and join in today!!! :)

2008-06-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

The Good, the Bad, and the Pretty...

Well, the good news first: as many of you know, my family and I have recently returned from our summer vacation. We had a fabulous time in Disneyworld! It was the first time my husband or I had ever been there...and of course it was a first for our boys, too! We thoroughly enjoyed shooting lasers at Evil Emperor Zurg in the Buzz Lightyear attraction...we got spit on by Stitch in his adventure area. My oldest son and I created a green home in the Epcot ball...and laughed hysterically when the onboard computer showed animated pictures of us with photographs of our heads on them. We rode wicked coasters like Rock N' Rollercoaster in Hollywood Studios, and crazy jet propelled waterslides like the Crushin' Gusher at Typhoon Lagoon Waterpark. We tried exotic foods from Morocco and the Mediterranean, and we laughed at silly shows like the interactive show with Crush in the Finding Nemo area. The boys were amazed to play in the Honey I Shrunk the Kids Playground...and my hubby and I voted for someone building a replica of it in our town...so cool! We had a fantastic time and I'm sure it will be a trip we'll repeat in the future.

Here is just one fun shot of my boys playing in one of the water "cooling zones" they provide at the parks. I think that is some serious foresight on the park developers...great idea!

Now for the bad news: Last weekend our town in Indiana was hit hard by the storms and we experienced heavy rainfall...more than 10" fell in a short period of time. The rivers rose, causing extensive flooding and damage to literally thousands of people's homes, farms, etc. We were very lucky to be in an area of town that was not near any large bodies of water...but the devastation here is unbelievable! Our town looks like a war zone. The National Guard came in from several neighboring states to help rescue people, and FEMA representatives are also here to assess damage and offer assistance. Two men died in the swift waters, and our local hospital had to be evacuated completely and is closed indefinitely until they can repair the extensive damage to the bottom two floors. If you know anyone in the southern Indiana area and haven't checked on them recently, you might want to touch base. There are thousands of people temporarily being housed in the high school gymnasiums, and I know the Red Cross is calling for donations as well as volunteers to help in many different capacities. I'll be off to volunteer in the morning - providing temporary child care for flood victims. So if you live close by and feel moved to help, be sure to call the Red Cross and they will utilize you in whatever capacity they can. Here are some links to local information and pictures about the situation, if you'd like to know more: http://www.therepublic.com/ and http://www.qmix.com/

And, finally - the pretty: Since I've come home, recuperated from my wonderful trip as well as a nasty bout of strep throat...I'm officially back at the torch. Make sure you check out some of these wonderful new listings on Etsy:

2007-08-15T15:02:00.000-07:00

Twinings

Love is amazingly powerful. I suppose I've always been aware of this, it is not a new revelation. But by the same token, I do find myself reminded all the time of how true it really is.

Today I celebrated the second day of my boys' return to school by just sitting down and reading a book. I rarely have the luxury, so I took this opportunity. I had purchased the book, 'The Mermaid Chair' by Sue Monk Kidd and I curled up on my couch with a nice cold, iced tea and began reading. Wow. What an amazing writer she is...and what an incredibly well told story with so many seeds of human truth sown throughout it.

The characters in her story reminded me of my close-knit group of friends. Some of them very recently experienced very similar life changes as did her characters. So I would suppose I felt more than an average connection to the story.

I thought of how love can spring you free of stagnancy...how I've watched one friend throw off her shackles and how I've seen both the difficulties she struggled with initially, but how she is now so much happier. It's wonderful to see the sparkle in her eyes again...and to see her creativity flourishing.

I thought about my own struggles. I've had two failed relationships, and a childhood strewn with the rubble you might expect from a less than healthy upbringing. But now I am truly blessed with the most wonderful husband and partner in life. A man who doesn't try to restrain me, but celebrates with me my creative freedom. He understands that the artistic me needs to spread her wings and fly...but that I always come back to my nest...happier, healthier and more in love with him than ever.

In the container of my heart, I hold the love of two sparkling-eyed, rambunctious, creative and intelligent boys...whose hugs and kisses and laughter are the best remedy for anything that ails me.

I've sat as a spectator and watched love act as a motivator, I've seen it become the impetus that frees souls. I've felt it wrapping itself around me like a quilt of comfort and I've watched it become the center of my beautiful home. I will always remind myself and be eternally thankful for what an amazing and powerful gift love is. It changes hearts, it persuades thoughts, it refreshes the soul.

2007-08-13T03:56:00.000-07:00

Stepping out of the Shower

Epiphany: a sudden striking understanding of something.

Let's just say that I had several yesterday. Epiphanies rained down on me like clear water from a cloudy sky! And what amazes me most, is that they always seem to come paired with moments when I feel completely lost and overwhelmed.

I had revelations about myself in the shower. About the core of who I am, and about how truly out of control I feel sometimes. I want to take my own power back and I am so very glad that I forced myself to do something I really didn't want to do.

One of the greatest epiphanies of my life seems to be that everytime I push past some barrier I have set up inside of myself...I find something new, unexpected...something that empowers me, strengthens me and puts my feet back on flat ground.

As I climbed the stairs of my friends' home yesterday, her husband confessed to being very nervous. I found myself patting his arm and saying "it will be fine". We went into the room where the lighting was best for taking the pictures and shut the door. Then they both talked about how hard it would be for them to do this and how nervous they were. I found that I was suddenly in the exact opposite position I found myself in only hours before. I was comforting and reassuring them. Explaining how I understood completely, as I was very self conscious about my own body...but that we are all much harder on ourselves than we'd ever be on each other. And with that...a light went off in my head.

It didn't matter that I think my friends are beautiful. It didn't matter that I felt I didn't measure up to that beauty and that I lament my body's descent into middle age. Because here they were, talking about themselves the way I talk about my own self. His wife addressed me, "remember when we were young and hot? But we didn't know it and we thought we were fat?"

I laughed. Yes, I remember clearly the beautiful body I'd had as a teenager and young adult. But I'd covered it up in huge t-shirts because I was ashamed of how "fat" I imagined I was. We all laughed together reminiscing about it...and it occurred to me that when I'm sixty, I'll probably be thinking the same thing about the body I had at 40. What a funny bunch we humans are.

So the tension melted away...and as they disrobed, I found myself lost in the artistic splendor and beauty of a pregnant woman. The beauty of a couple who love one another and love the new life coming into their world. I found tears stinging my eyes just slightly...but this time they were tears of warmth, understanding, and joy. I felt privelaged that I had been allowed to share a special moment in their lives and very proud of them for fighting their own inhibitions to do something that will no doubt forever be a cherished memory.

2007-08-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Cowering in the Shower

Not so long ago, I received a call from two friends of mine. They are a married couple and they wanted to employ my artistic talents for a special project. They had taken some tasteful nude pictures of themselves together and wanted someone they trust to do a pen and ink rendering of the pictures in a large collage on canvas.

My first instinct was to say no. I wanted to say no.

So let me stop here and clarify: I'm not a prude. I absolutely love tastefully done celebrations of the human body. Whether that be photography, paintings, sculpture...whatever. But this loud voice within, the one screaming "NO!" was doing so for a completely different reason.

Despite the voice, I agreed to do it. They came to my home one evening with the pictures in tow and we sorted through them together to decide which ones to include in the artwork. I survived. I tucked the pictures away in a file for future reference...because I wouldn't be able to start working on the project until my kids were back in school. Out of sight, out of mind. For now.

Well, all was well until I received a second call from my friends. The wife is pregnant with their second child and they really want some nude photos of her while pregnant...perhaps some with the two of them together as well. Again, tastefully done - just a beautiful celebration of this special phase of life. Could I take the pictures for them and then make a second ink rendering from those? They asked.

Every "NO" alarm in my body was ringing at 900 decibels. But that uncooperative mouth of mine said, "yeah, sure...I can do it for you."

Today is the day. The picture taking day. So I slowly drag around this morning wishing for some virulent illness to overtake me at any moment...begging for a migraine...praying for anything that could stop the gears that are in motion. But no, no such luck.

As I navigated my morning...I found myself feeling dark, depressed, hollow and achy inside. Finally, I face that I must get ready, and I step into the shower, my heart sinking ever lower on the horizon. I don't have any explanation why this project is such an obstacle to me as I step into the shower, allowing hot water to sluice it's way across my shoulders.

I feel the tears stinging my eyes, welling up, spilling over. I turn my face to the wall and tuck my hands in over my chest. I feel defensive, open to criticism, vulnerable. The spray from the shower mingles with my tears as I hear voices in my head. My stepmother making fun of my flat butt, my father calling me stupid, kids in school making fun of my Montgomery Ward catalog clothes that I was forced to wear. Then my own voice chimes in..."stick to what you're good at Dana" it chants. "Make glass beads. Run away from everything else."

I realize that sometimes I bury myself in my glass to hide from my own perceived inadequacies in other areas. I'm at a loss to deal with my moody eldest son. He's so sensitive, but also so hard headed and sometimes extremely disrespectful. My mental train quickly switches tracks. I begin thinking about how I want to believe I am beautiful just the way I am, somewhat overweight, getting older and saggier...but what my head preaches my heart just won't embrace.

The voice is now chanting, "yeah, you aren't so beautiful really, are you?" Taunting me. And I wonder how I ever got so vain in the first place that outward beauty matters that much. What happened to me so long ago that made it nearly impossible for me to feel good about myself? I sag deeper against the wall, my pain coming out in barely concealed squeaks as my tears flow harder. I recite the words stamped in the metal face of a bracelet I want to buy on Etsy, "STRONG IN THE BROKEN PLACES." But I don't feel strong at all.

All these things run through my head as I stand there, face buried in the tile. I suddenly understand exactly why I don't want to do this project. It has nothing to do with being a prude, nothing to do with jealousy or envy, it has everything to do with the gaping wound inside of me. The part of me that feels like a failure, the part of me that feels hopelessly un-beautiful. The part of me that I fight against so hard, but never seem to outwit.

The woman I will be photographing is beautiful. She has that body...the one people don't believe truly exists because it requires airbrushing and computer alterations. No. She has that body without airbrushes and without computer software. AND she's pregnant. And as I absorb all these facts in my bathroom sanctuary...I realize that this is the core of the problem. I will have to go face her...the woman who represents the two things I am struggling with right now as I just pass my 40 year birthday. By facing her, I will face the fact that my body has changed to something less than beautiful and desirable by "standards". That I'm growing older, saggier, and chubbier and that I simply don't love myself "as I am", which is what I want to do ideally, but can't seem to acheive. By facing her, I will also face the most painful of my issues...the fact that time is running out and I may never be a mother again.

I long to be pregnant. To have one more shot at motherhood before my time is done, and to complete the broken circle that I feel almost like it is a tangible, living thing since we lost our baby daughter.

As I realize these things, and contemplate life's workings...I again feel that every damn thing in life happens for some annoying reason. Do I believe for a minute I was given this challenge randomly? NO WAY. I am meant to face it, and I don't want to. Not at all. I stand in the shower, my tears slowing...and I hear that voice in my head again, "Are you just going to cower in the shower all day?"

I sigh. "no. I'm not".

2007-08-06T04:13:00.001-07:00

Diving In Head First - The ISGB Gathering

I love adventure, I really do. But there's this part of me that has to be pushed along forcefully in order to participate in adventures. So as I left the comfort and seclusion of my rural home in Indiana to head for the Indianapolis airport, it was not without a bagload of worries too. Would I get there in time? Would I get lost? Would I get the strip search and interrogation? LOL Yes, a creative imagination is not ALWAYS a good thing...trust me!

Amazingly, I arrived at the airport just fine. Had a few minor flusters over finding long term parking and leaving my carry on at the x-ray machine. *sigh* That's just my typical ditziness coming out there. I definitely felt like the unseasoned traveler I am. But finally I settled in and distracted myself with a good book while waiting to board the plane. Before I knew it, I was aboard the plane...managed to stash my overhead bag without knocking my fellow passengers unconscious or spilling the contents (beads, of course) all over the aisleway causing the stewardess to fall and break a hip as I had imagined might happen. (again, that blasted imagination of mine!) My heart slowed it's fearsome pace as I took my seat, and buried my nose in my book.

The flight was a short one, and in a little less than two hours, I had arrived at the Minneapolis Airport. After several more creative fantasies about being lost in a strange new place full of rabid, bloodthirsty vampires, not finding my baggage carousel or WORSE not finding my baggage...lol...I finally had everything and had called my dear friend Robyn who was circling the pickup area waiting for me. (yay! she hadn't forgotten me while chatting with some handsome multi-millionaire in Starbucks! hahaha) With all this creative worry, is it a wonder I don't have an ulcer? I'm thinking it is.

Happy to see each other again, we shared hugs, laughs and for me...RELIEF. We piled my luggage in the car and headed for the Mall of America. I was absolutely AMAZED by the mall. I'm not a total hick...I've seen large malls before. After all, I grew up in Cincinnati where we have a mall the size of a football stadium...but I have NEVER seen anything like this. A huge roller coaster, water flume, and Ferris wheel in a MALL? Wow! They had a Legoland that my kids would go nuts for and a Nascar simulator that my hubby would absolutely love to try. I decided I would definitely have to come back with my whole family and pay another visit to the Mall.

Robyn and her husband treated me to a wonderful birthday dinner and then headed back to Robyn's to "rest up" (hahaha...as IF that was going to happen) for our first big day at the ISGB (International Society of Glass Beadmakers) show. I think we went to bed at about 2am. ha!

DAY ONE: We arrived at the show. I felt like a kid again...all tingly with anticipation. What was it going to be like? Who would we meet? Would we see our friends? First we signed in. We each received a tote bag with a bead attached to it and loads of information stashed inside of it about the show, vendors, specials and of course, tourist info for the city. My bead was fantastic...and the only thing I wished was that I knew who made it! But perhaps that would take away some of the mystery! We took a cursory glance at the leaflets and information inside...but then wandered around to see what we could see. We soon found the Vendors area...and all I can say is...thanks for turning me loose in the candy store! ha! Glass, glass, glass. Tools tools tools. Fantasy world of the lampworker becomes reality. I think I had spent nearly half my money in less than 2 hours. hahaha ;)

We finally tore ourselves away from the small dent we'd made in visiting the vendors, and headed off for the afternoon orientation session for newbies like us. We both got strands of Mardi Gras beads...and NO...we didn't have to flash anything other than a smile to get them. LOL We learned a bit about past shows, and what to expect for this one. We went on a tour of the different areas where activities were to be held and I felt alot more comfortable after that...after all, I didn't have to fantasize that it was like the first day of high school when I'd be searching endlessly for mysterious disappearing classrooms and never find them.

We stuck around for open torch that evening...but neither one of us actually felt brave enough to sit down and try it...so we just wandered around watching everyone else. It was an amazing set up...and people were making some incredible works of art. We saw huge torches that resembled mini-bonfires and people creating sculptures, blowing glass, etc...besides just making amazing beads. It was a lot of fun to watch, but we finally decided to call it a night and headed home for the evening.

DAY TWO: Well, after staying up half the night again...we moved a bit slower on Friday. ;) We headed in for the show and found ourselves magnetically pulled back to the vendor area. Imagine that. We spent awhile shopping...then realized we were missing a demonstration we wanted to see, so off we went in search of enlightenment...or at least some cool new techniques? I met some nice folks in the demo room...and one of the lovely ladies gave me a free bead from her stash. I picked a beautiful leaf she had created...then we settled in to watch the demo.

After the demo ended, we ran into several of our online friends. Lots of chatting and laughing, and then we parted ways and headed off for dinner. We returned full of food and happy...and decided that tonight we were going to give open torch a try. We headed off to the roomful of pyros to add our fuel to the fire! hahaha

I sat down in front of a torch that looked like some foreign abomination. It had more knobs than a vending machine, I swear! Okay...maybe just five. LOL Still, I am used to 2 simple little knobs, one for Propane, one for Oxygen. So I was bewildered as to how to light the thing. Finally someone guided me a bit, but none of us realized that the last person had left the oxygen going...so when I lit the propane...it let out a loud *POP*. Scared me witless and made the people around me jump too. Great! Why doesn't someone just pin a neon tag on me that says, "WARNING: NEWBIE". hahaha But after the initial scare...all was fine. I made a nice little bead and then had to give up my seat to the next person in line. I found out afterward that the torch was a Phantom torch. It has two sets of ports so you can work with one on for less heat, or both on if you want to work with harder glass, like boro. That's what all the knobs were for. AHA! Now I get it. *wink*

After we both played around...we walked around and watched other folks torch...and then decided we should head home and TRY to make it an early night...as Saturday was going to be the bead show...and I had a booth to attend to. I think we did manage to get to bed by 1am. heehee

DAY THREE: Ever have that dream? You know, the classic one where you show up to school in nothing but your underwear and everyone is staring and laughing? YEAH. That's how the day of the bead show started out for me. We got there at 8am to set up. And at first I was very preoccupied with unloading my goodies and spreading my tablecloth, etc. I had gone with a simple black and white theme on my table, with just a few little splashes of red color here and there. I had packed my beads in plastic boxes, securely cushioned with white cotton batting. I pulled them out, took out the inserts and laid them on the table...still oblivious to my surroundings. Each bead had it's own cubby in the boxes, the boxes were all labeled with the pricing, and each bead or bead set rested on a soft cloud of white batting. Okay, done! WHEW!

I go sit down. Then and ONLY then do I glance around me. OH MY GOD. These people had multi tiered displays, beautiful artsy lighting fixtures arcing down on their gorgeous artwork. Signage across the front of their booths announcing their logo and name. Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of classiness and beauty...UNTIL...I glanced at my plastic boxes. Suddenly I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes and I wanted to crawl under a rock. Robyn sensed my embarrassment and wrapped an arm around me. "It will be okay" she whispered. I felt really helpless...and I text messaged my hubby to tell him how gausche my display was, how cheap my plastic boxes looked, and how I felt like crying. He said, "take them out of the boxes".

I love my husband. He has a way of thinking of the obvious when I'm too distraught to do it myself. So, I took them out of the boxes, peeled off the price tags and stuck them on the table. It was definitely an improvement. My display still wasn't nearly as nice as the others, but definitely liveable. Early in the show, a friend came by and commented that I should lower my prices. I had some trouble deciding beforehand what to price my items at, so I just did an average of my online sales. Well, of course, I started wondering if I'd overpriced my beads. Luckily for me, I was surrounded by the nicest women with years of experience...and they were a wonderful source of help for me.

Just behind me was Pam Dugger and her friend, Barb Svetlick. Barb really took me under her wing and gave me loads of advice about my setup for next year's show. She also peeked at my prices and told me in no uncertain terms that I had better not even think of lowering them. LOL She was wonderful! To my left was another wonderful artist named Bernadette. She came over to peek at my stuff and was so encouraging to me. She asked if I use presses to get the shapes I had acheived with my beads, and I told her no. Only every now and then do I use a press, I said. She encouraged me to keep that up...telling me that true artistry is all about interpretation...letting the glass flow freely to capture the story or idea you are trying to convey. She also noticed that alot of my beads were "disappearing" on the black background. She helped me shape white tissue paper on the table, and then we laid my beads out on that. It really made a huge improvement...and I noticed that a lot more people stopped and looked at my work after that.

After the rather rough start, I found myself relaxing. I talked to just about every single person that came by...joked and laughed and had the most wonderful time! (Robyn and I had a chuckle about my talkativeness. I told her "see, this is what happens when you stay at home all day with a 6 and 8 year old. You're starved for adult interaction!") I checked out everyone's jewelry as they came by...saw some wonderful and inspiring things...and just had great fun meeting people. Lots of business cards went with people, and I sold five items which was actually quite good I thought, considering my less than inspiring display and the AMAZING and incredibly talented and experienced artists all around me.

Barb recommended that I go meet Larry Brickman at one point, and the lady behind me volunteered to take me over to meet him. So off we went. I'm going to be terribly honest here...I have NO idea who anyone is. A few people's names I know...like Pam Dugger, Kimberly Affleck, Kim Neely...you know...those people I've heard of. Ana of Anastasia Beads is a good friend of mine...so I know her. But, in general, I could be talking to a star player in the lampworking universe and I would NEVER know it. I'm in my own little world. So I honestly had no idea who Larry was, but Barb said I should meet him, so I tagged along to meet him and to see his amazing beads.

After introductions and jokes, I had a nice conversation with Larry...and I felt so much better after he asked if I had a booth at the show. I responded with a "yes". He said, "how long have you been lampworking?" I said, "two years." He said, "two years! and you have a booth? YOU GO GIRL!!!" LOL He was a hoot...and I was glad I went to meet him. What he said in that short conversation helped me change my feeling of being a gausche little newbie to feeling like a fearless explorer! I went back to my booth very glad that I had taken that risk.

Later in the afternoon, I had even more wonderful and validating experiences. A pretty young woman came to my booth and began looking at my beads. She commented on how pretty they were and then she introduced herself as a representative of Flow Magazine. She then asked me if I'd be willing to submit some pictures of my work for an upcoming article on Women in Lampworking. I had to pinch myself under the table...lol...but I told her I'd love to! So she gave me submission guidelines information and said she'd look forward to seeing my work. This had to be one of the highlights of my trip!

I was also asked by a tooling company if I'd be willing to try out some of their molds and promo them on Ebay. I was going to stop by their vendor booth, but ended up not getting a chance to go back to the show on Sunday...so I missed them. I didn't get their card either, although they did take mine. So who knows what will come of that? But it was definitely an idea I would have liked to have tried out.

Saturday evening was the banquet, which was delicious and wonderful! Robyn and I sat at a table with Scott Tanner and his sister, Trudi. They were soooo much fun and we laughed our tushies off...okay, not really, I checked mine just now and the darn thing's still there! *sigh* But yeah, they were great! Ana was on my left and she was giving me heck, as always...she's such a nut too. And another really cool thing was meeting my online friend Debbie Pierce. She and I discovered about a year ago that we were born on the exact same day in the exact same year. So it was great fun to meet her in person, and she ate dinner with us as well. All in all, Saturday turned into a really wonderful time...and we dragged home well after midnight...then stayed up til a record 3:30 am...or was it 4? hahaha

DAY FOUR: Well, like I said, both Robyn and I were pretty tired after all the late nights and running back and forth to the city. So, we decided to just sleep in on Sunday and head to the airport around 2:30ish for me to make my flight home. I had such a great time...and Robyn and I have definitely decided to get together again. We are like old friends...it was comfortable and familiar...and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her.

So, you know those crazy fantasies of mine? Well, my trip home was more than eventful! LOL I got to the airport only to discover that my license was not in my purse and nowhere to be found on my person. I (of course) panicked. Would I even be able to get on the plane without ID? What would they do to me? AAAHHHHH! I approached the security guy to explain. He wasn't friendly. He said, "they'll have to do a 'special check' on you." He pointed me over to a spot to wait for my "special check". GREAT. Here I am, visualizing angry looking security people with bulging muscles and rubber gloves coming at me. Instead, a grey haired woman and a young african american woman waved me over. I did get a pat down and they did go through my carry on and my purse with some tiny little electronic devices...but when it was all said and done, it wasn't anything like my rampant imagination had cooked up.

I go through the boarding gate, and head to the gate # I'd seen on my boarding pass when I did my preflight check in online. As I sat at my gate reading my book...I noticed they kept talking about a Canadian flight and a delay...blah, blah, blah. Finally, when it was nearly 4pm (flight was leaving at 4:10) I decided I'd better double check my boarding pass for the flight time, cuz no one was saying "let's board folks". OH MY GOD. The person that checks the boarding pass had crossed out the gate number with red pen and wrote a different gate number underneath. Did they tell me? NO.

So you can imagine the sprint I did in flip flops and a 200 lb carryon bag full of glass rods. I got to the gate only to see the entry tube slightly pulled away from my plane and not a soul in the waiting area. Luckily for me, the attendant came out of the tube into the waiting area and said, "who are you?" "Dana Graham" I replied. She said, "come on...we'll get you on board." Talk about a relief!!! Again, sitting down with my heart pounding...I let out a long sigh and buried myself in my book to forget my trauma.

I love adventure.

Dana :)

2007-07-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

FUN STUFF!!!

Hi everyone! I just returned from a 5 day trip for a lampworking convention in Minneapolis, MN. I had a wonderful time, had some very exciting experiences and learned alot too. But I'll talk more about that later this week! Right now, I want to tell you about a fun game/giveaway being held by the wonderful Etsy street team I belong to known as the INcrowd. Starting tomorrow, August 1st, a large group of Indiana artists that belong to the INcrowd Etsy Street Team will be hiding a picture in their listings somewhere. If you are the one to locate the most hidden pictures, you win a free necklace donated by one of our wonderfully talented artists! So please go visit the link to the left for the INcrowd Blog for more details - the information will be posted tomorrow! Have fun!!! :)

Dana :)

2007-07-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

Perfectly Imperfect

It's funny how time seasons you. I'm so thankful I know what I know now, and I'm sure there are so many more lessons ahead of me.

When I was younger, I felt very driven to be perfect. I was extremely self-critical, especially of my artwork...but on many other, deeper levels too. I'm sure many things contributed to this mindset. My abusive father and stepmother, the strict religious upbringing I was raised in, and my own desire to prove my worth...to prove that the words hurled at me in angry abandon were wrong. I needed to prove it to them, and to prove it to myself.

But time passes, wounds heal and scar over...and thank goodness if we are open to it, we find growth and change. I can find amusement in some of my silly perfectionism from younger years. For instance, one time I remember getting a new set of watercolor paints. I painted flowers all over a piece of watercolor paper. I hated them and tossed them in the trash. My middle sister objected, fished them out of the trash and kept them. About a year later, as I was visiting my mom and sisters, I went into my middle sisters room. She had the prettiest flowers cut out and sprinkled across her walls. I told her..."Oh, I love those! They are beautiful!" Her eyes flew wide open and her mouth dropped. She started laughing out loud at me. "Those are the ones you painted last year and threw away!" I couldn't believe it. I'd forgotten about them, and seeing them with fresh, unbiased eyes had completely changed my mind.

We are so often our own worst critics. I frequently get upset with myself and will cry myself to sleep when I've had a bad day with my kids. If I raise my voice or say something cross, I feel absolutely horrible and like the worst mom ever. But then I'll read about some truly horrible parent in the paper - someone who neglects or abuses a child...and I realize that I'm just imperfect, not horrible. Or I'll be in public and hear a parent say something harsh like I heard the other day, "Son, you have the smallest heart." (overhearing that comment absolutely BROKE my heart. How could you say that to a little boy???) Times like that remind me that I'm not perfect...but I'm careful...and I love my kids and they are happy children.

Other times, I'll make a mistake while torching...grab the wrong color of glass, or a design won't go the way I want it to. In the past, I'd have tossed my work away immediately...considering it ruined. But I've learned something along the way...PERFECTION IS OVERRATED! ;)

Sometimes the best ideas come from mistakes, sometimes the most beautiful art was a failed version of something else, and definitely the most beautiful people in my life are the most humbly imperfect ones.

So go out there and celebrate your perfect imperfection! I know I am!

Dana :)

Coffee Hair and Sunshine...

2007-07-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

When I create, I often find that my artistic time is also a time for reflection. Yesterday, as I sat twirling glass in the flame, I found my mind wandering back to my childhood. When my parents married, my great aunt and great grandmother gave them an acre of land in Indiana on which to build their home. My parent's land connected to their land...about 40 acres or so...and as a young child, I spent endless hours exploring the woods, meadows and creek surrounding our property.

I remember vividly sitting for hours on the sandy bank of the creek that wound it's way through my aunt's land. My coffee colored hair would get so warm from the sunlight as I would sit so very still, thinking about the world around me. After awhile, my stillness made the animals less wary, and I would watch them with quiet curiosity as they skittered around me. Birds, squirrels, chipmunks and even a raccoon and weasel graced my presence on those silent afternoons.

I remember listening to the sound of the water; singing stories of its journeys, and the sound of the wind soughing through the branches of the ancient trees. I'd glance up through the leaves and breathe in deeply as I watched the patterns of deep green leaves against blue sky. The world was a peaceful, gentle place on that sand bar...and I recollect a feeling of oneness with everything around me. I felt as though I were a part of the trees and they a part of me - both of us swaying together in the breeze and rooted in earth. Water surged inside my body and sang in harmony with the creek. The animals and I, we were old friends...brothers and sisters.

I marvel now to think that I was ever such a still child. I look at my own beautiful children...so full of energy and almost never still...and I wonder how it was that I sat for so long...content to just breathe in the beauty of nature. The beauty of life.

As I reminisced about my solitary moments, I realized how very important that stillness was to my inner strength...and how very important it remains. Our worlds, our lives, are so very busy. Always we rush from one obligation to another...and I can't help but feel we are missing it. As I thought about this, I realized that it's time for me, personally, to take back that stillness. To make the time to just breathe in life...to reconnect with this earth...to replenish the strength of my soul.

Dana :)